C'est La Vie

Looking back at the twenty-some years of my life, it's been one heck of a ride. My mentor once told me you need to create spikes in your life. These spikes make up the precious memories you'll always remember. The highlights of your life.

Travel. Explore. Feel. Tantalize your senses.

Dreaming about the future sends my head up in the clouds. But the real world rushes by. Not stopping just for me to keep on dreaming a little longer. Reality pulls me back to earth. And the real world is never as perfect as in my dreams.

C'est la vie. That's just how life is.
The joy. The pain. The hope and fear of the unkown.

The late Gilda Radner summed it up pretty well.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

Not knowing what comes next. That's the thrill of the ride.

Intuition

The human brain works through pattern recognition. And that constitutes my work on a day to day basis. I am trained to see patterns and trends. Observe. And make conclusions.
A true blue scientist.

I just noticed recently how I have been observing people's behavior. Seeing how the different personalities dynamically come together in a team. One of my friends said that shows I'm of management material. Haha. I think it just shows I'm getting old.
No, wait. Mature.

She says I have good intuition and that I should trust my instincts. Yet for such a trusting person that I am (up to a fault), I always fail to listen to that small voice inside my head. Many times of which it could have saved me from a lot of pain and humiliation.

God knows when I will ever learn.

My Boys

There are days when I feel blue, thinking about the uncertain future. It's unsettling how scary life can be. Wishing that there were guarantees. Truth is, I just don't want to end up alone.

A colleague said I should consider myself blessed to have so many good friends in my life. The best guy friends a girl could ever ask for. The ones who would stand by you no matter what. Come rushing to your rescue in times of need. And are protectively there for you when some jerk tramples on your pride.

True. But the irony of it all.
A handful of good men, yet none to call my own.

Fallen Angels

The thing with people is that you never really know what they're really made of. Not really. You think you know this person for years, yet they never cease to surprise you at times. And it's absurd how your opinion of them can change in the blink of an eye.

I wish it weren't so. It's too much work keeping up with all the pretentiousness of being polite. Of course, you spend enough time with someone, the layers start to peel off one by one. Speaking of which, a friend of mine likens himself to an onion. Peel him off bit by bit, he said. Makes me laugh when I remember how shallow this guy actually is. Onion? More like a mata kucing to me.

The point is, you may never really know a person. Ever.

It's sad when you realize that the people you admire are not the perfect creatures you've always envisioned them to be.

Head Over Heels

I was reading this most recent post by Whodzey. And it's uncanny how alike we are at times. I have to admit that I too am "highly imaginative and a bit perasan". Haha.

Always imagining that this person might just like you a teeny weenie bit more than usual. Yet when some real guy shows some real interest, you almost immediately shut them out. Why, I wonder? Funny how we judge people the most when we know them the least.

A friend of mine was contemplating on his non-existent love life the other night. And almost poetically laid it out on the table. He said you can have tons of girls out there who are head over heels for you, but it's always that one girl you're crazy about that couldn't care less about you. That's the beauty of it he said.

No wonder they say beauty is painful.

Neverland

I dropped by the Colorado School of Mines MSA website.

Big mistake.

Looking at pictures of smiling faces in those places I knew so well just makes me wanna cry. I can't believe it's been almost three years since I left. I wish I could do it all over again and never ever grow up. Peter Pan really had it going there.. hehe.

Tinkerbell, some fairy dust please!

Golden Girl

We were driving around in the MPV, listening to one of my dad's many many golden oldies CDs. When a friend nonchalantly said, "No wonder you're such a hopeless romantic. You grew up on these old love songs. Dude, this is old school romance!"

That made me laugh. Wait till she finds out about the hordes of pop yeh-yeh songs I was forced to endure. But it also made me start to think. And it dawned on me.

Don't Cry Joni has been one of my favorite songs since I was 13.
And I was humming to Love Story at 11.

Yup, I'm definitely old school when it comes to music. The one thing I inherited from my dad, which my other siblings did not. Though I secretly think they enjoy it just as much. Only too cool to admit it.

And my personal favorite? None other than the one and only Diana.

Sunday

Lazing around at its best. Curling up with a good book.
Pride. Anger. Lust. Covetousness. Envy. Gluttony. SLOTH.
The seven deadly sins have never been more enticing.

Heaven

All under Heaven.
Three words that paralyzed an assassination. So the legend goes.

I finally watched Hero. After one of my guy friends empathetically ranted on and on about how great a movie it was. Naturally I didn't believe him. I mean.. hey, boys and martial arts movies.
Can you blame me?

But after reading the plot at the back of the DVD case, I decided to give it a shot. After all it was set during the Warring States period. And having developed a fascination for Chinese history since my college days, the legendary tales of the kingdom of heaven captivated me.

And the verdict..
The movie was simply stunning. So beautifully crafted with such artistic flair. In the first fight scene between The Nameless and Sky, shots of the rain dripping from the roof mesmerized me.
I knew then this was going to be a great movie.

Brilliant work. Never again will I underestimate this particular fella's taste in films. Kudos to you, man!

April Showers

I felt depressed. Must be that time of the month.
4 hours and 250 ringgit later.. I was elated, dreamily ecstatic.
Talk about emotional roller-coasters.

Maybe it was the shopping high, but more likely the warm fuzzy feeling I got from Hitch. Such a feel-gooder. Funny and sweet. With loads of charm. And I laughed my heart out.

These movies are the only reason why I keep on going back to my eternal quest for prince charming. Ridiculous, no?

One moment you decide all men are jerks. The next, you're crying and laughing over sappy romantic comedies and hoping to be swept off your feet.

Then it rained. And made my day.