Twofold

There are always two faces of a coin. Always two sides of the story. And you always have to remember to flip the coin over. To listen to the other side.

But being the emotional creatures that we are, it is so easy to forget and overlook. So easy to carelessly write off the feelings of the other person. And it is sad to think that it is the ones we love that we hurt the most.

Time and again, we try. We forget and vow not to repeat the same mistakes. Yet we keep on slipping along the way.

I guess the key is to never stop trying. To keep on learning.
And hoping that we will one day acquire the patience.
The humility. And the grace.

Amen.

Great Expectations

I’m sitting here in the park. Feeling sorry for myself.

Sadness. Guilt. Yes, guilt most of all.

Maybe I’m selfish. Or maybe I have this preconceived idealistic idea of how life should be. How this whole experience should be. Or maybe I’m simply jealous of other people’s stories.

But in any case, it’s disappointing when things don’t live up to those expectations, no matter how unrealistic they may be.

What’s more disconcerting though is the fact that you never feel that what you want is unrealistic. You never feel that you don’t deserve it. But if it seems too much to ask, isn’t it then?

People say when you expect nothing but the best, you very often get it. They never tell you about the misery whenever you don’t.

Awestruck

Baby has started to move. So much so in the past few weeks that you can actually see my tummy roll. Like waves. Seeing him move during the ultrasound still fascinates me. Tiny fingers wiggling in space.

I remember my third month check-up. I was simply amazed to see a little baby in there. A tiny human being. When just a month before all you could see was a blob. A blob with what remotely looked like a head.

Yet in just one month, there he was. Amazing.
I will never forget how awestruck I was.

Subhanallah. The wonders of God's creation.

Humpty Dumpty

The bump is showing like no other.
I look and feel like Humpty Dumpty.

No. Not fragile. Definetely not that. Not me.
I'm not one of those girls who come with the sign
"Handle With Care" plastered on my forehead.

See this Humpty Dumpty would survive that great fall.

Lost Touch

It's been so long.

I have forgotton just how much I love to write.
Penning down my private thoughts and dreams.
And this past year has passed in a whirlwind.
So much to do. Yet so little time.

I have to learn to slown down. To stop and smell the roses.